Pull my finger!  Pull my finger is one of my all time favorite expressions when riding a crowded elevator.  You can learn a lot about people by waiting for the door to close and then uttering those words.  The range of facial expressions is as varied as the people who ride the elevator.  Follow along with me as I document some observations I have made from the controlled environment of an elevator I used to ride.

I think most everybody, in their youth, had the equivalent of my “Uncle Joe” who taught me the cataclysmic consequences of complying with the request “Pull my finger.”  People will react in a variety of ways when they are confronted with the possibility of  man made methane in a small constrained space.  It is highly probable that the reaction of people will be more related to the talents of one’s own “Uncle Joe” than it is a reflection of a person’s character, integrity, or sophistication when observing such behavior.  I believe a lot can be learned about a person by documenting their reaction in stressful situations.  I will share my observations with you below…

There are four significant classifications I observed when doing my research.  They are: Fun Lover, Thrill Seeker, Obsessive Indifferentist and the Anal-Retentive.

The Fun Lover.  Fun lovers are easy to spot.  When the fun lover hears the request of “pull my finger” they immediately respond with an emotion ranging from a smile to a belly aching guffaw.  My favorite example of this was a jovial, short of stature but large woman who found my request so amusing that it  actually evoked a response similar to that of which my Uncle Joe demonstrated when he introduced me to this whole scenario in the first place.  For just a second I and the other passengers found that to be an awkward moment; first because everyone looked at me and then later when everyone noticed the embarrassment of our portly co-passenger.  That generated a whole entirely different set of reactions that exceed the scope of this observation.

The Thrill Seeker.  This is the type of person that you want to advise your children to have nothing to do with.  These are the people who will immediately reach for your finger with total disregard for the lives around them.  These people are reactionary and impulsive and not to be trusted. 

The Obsessive Indifferentist.  I just made up that word… do you like it?  I just feel sorry for these people.  The Obsessive Indifferentist is one who is so harried and wrapped up in their own agenda that they find neither humor nor horror in my antics.  Even a slight smile or eye roll would redeem them from the pity I feel for them.  These are the people who you should avoid at the office Christmas party and whom you should be loathe to travel with on business trips.

The Anal Retentive.  You have to love these people.  You have to because nobody else will.  These are the people who are typically disgusted by the thought of anyone trying to have a little fun.  Dictionary.com details the anal-retentive thusly,

“Indicating personality traits, such as meticulousness, avarice, and obstinacy, originating in habits, attitudes, or values associated with infantile pleasure in retention of feces”

I understand that we need the anal-retentive in society but some people just take it too far.  The anal-retentive’s I have a problem with are those who are want to wear that description as a badge of honor.  Typically they will try to appear self effacing as they tender the description as a defense for being an ass but I don’t buy it.  An ass is an ass is an ass.  If you can’t laugh about farting then you are wasting oxygen.

I suggest that the next time you enter a crowded elevator you wait until the door closes and try this little experiment which gives me such joy and see if you can classify the passengers according to my observations.  You will be pleased to discover that approximately seven in ten of your fellow passengers will fit into the category of Fun Lover.  That is a refreshing way to start the day.  Especially if it is a Monday.

Note from Chris…

I really didn’t mean to do another fart story.  Really I didn’t.  It just kind of slipped out.